Jessie Hennen

It’s the day of the primary, and now look: another rising DFL superstar has been taken down – or might be, depending on how today goes – by loudmouthed women, just like poor Al Franken and Dan Schoen. Is there a conspiracy? Anything’s possible, these days. Because look at them! Likable guys on their way…

Dear President Trump, I am so excited about my gun, I can’t wait! I’m glad you’ll be sending them to us teachers. We are so trustworthy and so eager to protect our students. Hooray, hooray. I just, I mean, I’m sorry, sir, but I have a few tiny little questions. The main one is, I…

For a while, I thought that to be a writer meant that you could not have a day job that brought you joy. I had been seduced by Ann Patchett’s tales of feverish slogging on the floor of a chain restaurant, the vest festooned with pins, the endless bus-trays of dirty dishes; I read in…

In one episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon is annoyed. Well, actually, in many episodes, but for whatever reason, this particular day, she especially isn’t having it, the jostling crowd on the streets of New York. She’s trying to buy a hot dog, standing in line, when all at once a runner darts past her,…

There was a very brief period of my life in which I was positive I was going to become a doctor. It started when my German Shepherd bit another dog – uncharacteristic for her, as she was a retiring sort, but this terrier had, we think, been harrying her for quite some time, and while…

I have a friend who faints in art museums. This particular affliction is so bizarre, so Victorian, that I’ve babbled to many people I know about it, and they always express skepticism. “Come on. Like, is it the temperature? Something about the atmosphere?” No, I always say, because I’ve been with this particular friend in…

When 2016 began, I was seeing a sort of Kerouackian wanderer bum. It wasn’t a relationship, we were quick to clarify – more just a thing where we’d drink beers and listen to each other tell stories. His were better than mine (it wasn’t fair; I told myself, he’d had more time to acquire them) and…

A thing people don’t know about Lan Samantha Chang, esteemed director of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, is that she’s hilarious. Granted, sometimes it isn’t on purpose – i.e. her scrutiny-face when she turns around at a reading to see who is and isn’t there – but usually it’s intentional. God, she kills. I miss getting…

This morning: cut to me, bourgeois, slicing an avocado, piling it with egg, garnishing with tomato – sitting in my kitchen, nibbling cornbread, telling myself enjoy your food, Hennen, don’t just wolf it, this is your problem, you want everything to be over so quickly, the only solution is to slow down – a pleasant…

As per my yearly moving tradition, I am procrastinating by going through old notebooks. I have a whole box of ’em. I only ever rummage through them at moments like this, never, say, when seeking inspiration or solace – but lord, it is nice to realize that Past Me is capable of making Current Me…